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The Invisible Sheath Urinal

A CAVING MUST!

 

Hilary and I have discovered the most amazing piece of caving kit that must rate highly on all cavers list of must haves!! We are sure everyone has experienced that dreadful stirring in the pit of the stomach after having consumed 6 pints of Butcombe and then decided to go underground.

There is nothing worse than trying to cave with a full bladder [whether you are male or female] knowing full well that a decision will have to be made eventually.

Some club members openly admit to urinating in their wetsuits stating that it prevents the onset of hypothermia, and by pressing the suit in certain ways can warm up virtually the entire body area [depending on the volume of urine]. But it is not the done thing to urinate in a borrowed suit even if you are desperate!!!!!!!!

The more fastidious cavers I am sure would much rather use a more discreet and definitely less smelly method when it comes to urinating underground.

We are hoping that the BEC will be allowed to conduct some field tests on the MK1 version and I believe that Zot will be only too pleased to volunteer [the intention is to fill him up to eye level with Butcombe first].

The advert only shows the Male version of this device, but the manufacturers assure us that a Female version is being tested at this very moment!!! [The mind boggles] can we assume there will be a Female volunteer also??????? bearing in mind that Butcombe will be supplier free.

I have approached Bat Products and asked Tony to make up an advanced order list. If you wish to remain anonymous he will post it to you in a plain brown parcel to a post box number of your choosing.

Please order quickly as we are anticipating a rush amongst the senior active members of the club.

The Wessex Caving Club has asked if the device can be modified to include a shorter pipe and a 10-oz collector bag. They have not specified any modifications for their female members!!!!!! We have decided to offer a discreet free fitting service to all club members to ensure a snug fit.

Mr. Wilson.

Editors note. Obviously the drawback (a whiff of a pun intended) to this system is that the whole device becomes potentially disastrous on engaging with a squeeze.  Perhaps Mad Phil will have a go with one in Eastwater to test its suitability!