Belfry Bulletin

Search Our Site

Article Index


Patently Obvious

Apologies for the very bad pun! Once in a while we have to be reminded of how bad some puns really are. Anyway the following is just a small selection of patents that have been submitted in connection with activities underground.  I asked a chum who works in the patent office in Newport if he had anything connected to said activity and he produced a good number, a select few of which I have chosen for this article. So if you have any ideas of your own that can earn the club or yourself a fortune you know where to take your idea.

The patent office, as you can imagine, is swamped with a vast array of silly, foolish and downright bizarre submissions for patents – including, and I kid you not, plastic twigs for dogs, a method of printing using a baby’s bottom and my favourite, a machine for detecting mythical entities such as Father Christmas.   One fellow even tried to patent ‘walking’ so that any living creature that stood upright owed him money.

I have included the last patent as an example of how silly things can get in the heady world of inventing. It is only loosely connected to underground activities. No copyright has been breached in the reprinting of the these articles (before anyone asks!)



I am quite interested to see how a conversation would be carried out between the deceased and their family.  Ed.