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Wot i Did in mi sumurr holeedaz

buy jingulls
form 2b
the belfree borstul skool.

i did went to scotlund on mi sumur holeedaz with mistre OW Dirscull to doo sum dyving in thee cavs there.

i drived to yorksheer onna thursdee nite to stae with my frend helen at hur farm with hur dogz.

i coodnt do diving ther bcoz thee cavs were ful ov derty worter so i went to thee pub insted. Aftr that i did went too scotlund to see mi frend miyckle who livs in edinbru with sum more cav peeple from thur grampeen speelogillicll grroop, thay wur funee peeple they tor ked all diffrunt to me and were a bit mad, they did say see yoo jimmee and lots of wurds i dint no. The men in scotlund were dresses and no nickars a bit like the ladeez in Saint porls in Bristul that mr wi/sun is frends with, but thay dont Iy down for munnee tho like the gurls in Bristul doo. Myckle isunt scottich he iz orstayleen and he torks funnee too but i can unnerstan him bettur a bit cos hee is fat. he iz cor led blubber the bush kangroo, i dont no wot that iz but he plaes with a boomrang and sez cobber a lot.

We did go in scotlund mor me and myckle to go too the cavs in the north bit corled elting wher ther is a mad man corled gooon but wee dint see him pecoz he is braked his arm in ther cay and carnt go now.  We taked helins dogs with us for ther holeedaes too so they can have fun too. We gott to effing quiet late in ther nite coz it woz a longg wae to dryv in ther car and we is tiyud when we get ther so we went to slepe onna flore coz orl the beds is ful ov uthur peeple and Myckle did sae some rood wurds abowt them. hee woodn tell me wot a whankurr iz but sed that wun ov the peeple was a rite wun ov them.  The dogs dint wont to gosleep an they wer lying on myckle wiggling ther bottoms he sez that his girltren duz this an shez a dog too, i dint no wot he meenz. we did 10k them in ther car cuz thay wer bad dogz he sez an they wiggle ther bottomz on his leg too.

in the mornig we god to ullupowl to bie things an then carry them for myles to the cay corled clayonite it iz neer to a cay corled anus an Myckle sez it givz him ther rs howl.  We wer in ther clayonite cavan took orl ther dyving stuff to ther sump.  It woz hevee an ther woz lots ov worter an it woz co wId an Myckle sed a lot ov rood werds to ther worls. wee poot orl ther kit by ther sump for tomowow an did go owt agen and then clym down ther hi! agen to ther car.  We wen to ther pub cor led aline irinu Altnearlgr bugge.  We wen to ther pub aftur the cay in it woz Eric the lanloud he iz nyce man.  He givd me sum cowkcola an Myk hay sum bere. Mykle hay a lots ov bere an he start to wobll a lot an torks sillee.  Then he is sik an we go hom to elting. the dogz wiggld on his leg wen he wuz slepeng agen.

in ther necks day we gow to ther cay agen to dyv but myks wessoot is brokn an hiz botom is forling out ov it, i took a pchur ov it an Mykl sez anus iz cum to clayonite. he sed bolicks too. he iz norty man sumtymz. we worked down ther hil agen an lookt in ther strim for howls.  Myckle sez they is resuges or sunfing but its wher ther worter cum up owt in ther groun like at ther elifun trapp. ther dogz did swim here coz wee made them doo it . Myckle sez that teech ther bastids to shog his legs wen he is slepeng an he pix them up an thro them inna ther eltintraps and he larit lots.  We did fine sum mor hols in a strim beds and dugged out ther stons ther and fownd mor stons so wee dig them up too an fine evun mor stons an now ther hol is deep but it woz gud an we can go an dig sum mor with jayratt Myckle sez.

wee wen to ther pub i carnt spel agen an Myckl had mor bere but no asmuch as beefor.

wee wen to nokkers ther necks dae with sum peeple an i dyved inna sump inna worterslid but i carn fine a line sow i din go vere far. mi boot cum off inna worter sow i had to luk for it but i foun it ok. i climbe out up ther worterslid it woz wet an i fel ovur alot but it woz fun.  Mykl anaa peeple wen in ther othur bit ov nokkers sow i waytid for them inna sun with ther dogz but they din wiggle ther bottoms on my leg lik with Myckl.  I thing that thay like Myckle, he sez he alway get ther dogz but at lees thay shog. i dono wot shogging is but myckle sez he Iyks it wiv dogs. ther man inna pub sez myckle Iyk shogging sheeps too coz his orstraylien.

tonite we is tyrd so we gobbed erlee so we can go in clayonit tomow.

tomow we woz to tyrd to go inna cay so we did dryv orl over insted and we wen to klyskeskoo but ther boats woz in ther wae to dyv. we wen to 10k bolloch or sunfin onna dumbreg rode an dyvd ther insted.  It was cloudy inna wortter but kwyt deep i thing it woz 15 meeters an mi wate bel keept cuming off but its ok coz i pute it bak onna gane. wun ov my bottils gose negertivlee boyunt wen its emtee so i had wate on wun side not ther uthur an i swim roun on my side.  Myckle neerly dyed coz he woz larfing at me so much he breeth the worter. i thing he is Iyk ther dogs ... a bastid. i thing he iz a whankr to.

inna pub tnite ther man with ther gittar din come so i had too plae mine for ther peeple.  Eric sed he Iyk me to plae geetur mor for him so i will necks tym. then we wen hom to bed. i slip in my ten tonite coz myke wan to shog ther dogs agen. he carn fin sheeps in scollund.

ther necks dae we gow to clayonite agen.  Wen we gets ther Myckle sez his bak is hurting so he carn go inna cavan i hay to go on mi owun an get orl ther bottils an erverthing. I use his new wurd an sae BOLLIX to him he is not hapee.  I gon inna cay aneewae an i go on mi owun to ther sum three.  Wen i am ther i thing ill dyv an hay look at ther uther side of it. i use Mycks little bottil he corls zig. It is 2 leetur bottil an ver smal. Is good sump tho coz it goz down then it goz up agen an you cum out in a poowl inna chaymbur. If you gos furthur yoo can crorl under ther roes a long wae to unuthut sump but i din go ver far. I goz back inna sump three.  At ther botom ov it ther is sum bowldurs yoo can skwees thru an i foun a litel chaymbur ther, i don thing aneebudee foun it befor coz its nor on ther mapps at ther elfing howse so i thing i foun a noo wun. i wanoo corl it jinguls bel but myke sez i got mayuk shur nobudee foun it befor first. i hop not coz then i can drore it for ther mapps.  I wen fur nothur dyv to mayk shur i no wer it is fir necks time i thing its is 3 meeters long an too meeters hi an about fower meeters wiyed. inna corner it look Iyk a blak howl gon up but i coont see proplee coz ther worter is go orl clowdee an i dint wanna let go ov the Iyn or russel carter will be cross with mee an he is a big mann an i don wan him tobe cros with mee. Then i carid orl the stuf owt in ther yello bag an it woz hevey but i dun it ok. wen i cum owt myckle was lookin fer sheep to shog agen but he coon fin anee.  Probly ther dogs wood get jellus aneewae. we wen bac to elfing so i can pak ther car to go hom to yoksheer an tayk ther dogz bak to hellin. I din leev elfing till nine or clork an i woz tyred.  We wen to ther pub first to sae bye bye to eric an it woz merows berthdeed he iss sevntee todae. hape berthdeed merdow.  He is a nice man.  Myckle sez hes got a nyce but. he must werk out he sez. i dono wot he is torking abowt ... probly shogging agen i espect.

I dryvd alia wae to yorksheer an it woz ver late wen i got homo

Inna morning i goz to ingllspursts an bie things for dyving.  I seed my frens in ingleston then i wen- to ther hillin pub to see ther band. it woz gud.

Onna las dae i dyvd in hurtlpot with my frens stivn an nevell an hellins son kevin.  It woz ver col an my ear woont cleer proply an it hurt. ther dyv was a sortooth prowfiel wich mayks it bad for ther eers aneewae but i thing i hay som snot in my yoostayshin toob an my eers won go pop Iyk wot they shood. inna nite ther eer startid to hurt reely bad an i hay to goto horspiddle wen i cum home to sumaset. ther doktur get cross with me so i told him to piss off Iyk myckle done wen Eric sed about ther sheep . I dono wot this is but ther doctur got ver cross so i wen home.

i Iykt scollun ver much it is a gud plays to go for holeedaes an i lyk to go ther agen sune. Myckle sed if i bringa dogs agen he wil stick them wher the sun don shin.  I thing he meens in ther clayonit cay but im not shur.

it woz a ver good holeedae an i lernt abowt shogging an sellotape from myckle. he sez ther hamstur won burst if you put it in sellotape.  Thee en.