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St Cuthbert and the Yorkies

A MONOLOGUE

By Mike Wilson

They were a greet bunch of lads were t'Yorkies
And theyd coom down t'Mendip for cave
We've heard of a saint called Cuthbert!!
And quite fancy a visit t'grave.
 
Having "tanked up" in Hunters till closing
They arrived at t'shed for the trip
Their outfits were many and varied
With overalls straight down from the tip.

We toddled on down to the entrance
And Yorkies jaws opened reet wide
"By heck" its locked and gated
Theer moost be t'crown jewels inside.
 
Having turned of tap at the entrance
And stopped village water at source
They all slid down rift by the ladder
And locked gate behind them of course.

Well the trip to Sump II in general
Was just like most tourist trips go
With cries of this reminds me of Knacker Cracker
And look out your lamp's a bit low.

At last stopped for a breather
And passed the Mars bars to hand
Wot no bloody mint cake
Theers nowt like it throughout the land.

We decided to return to the surface
By various devious ways
Make haste and dont miss Hunters opening
Faggots peas and Butcombe on trays.

That trip were cracking said Yorkies
As we shut the lid on the way
Saying crown jewels were left theer by queenie
She'll be back for t'divi one day.