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"The Ode of the Commercial Caver", 

By Nigel TAYLOR, B.E.C.  22nd. October 1988.

Sung to the tune of - "I'd like to teach the World to Sing", or to the Viewer at home 'The Coke advert' !!.

I’d like to teach, the world to cave,
if only I knew how,
To get underground, and smash around,
like I’ll learn Commercially.

Commercially, …..its the real thing,
Commercially, …..its the real thing.

'I'd like to cave, and misbehave,
and muck formations about,
When we run amok, and all get stuck,
M.R.O.’ll get us out.

Commercially, …..its the real thing,
Commercially, …..its the real thing.

We've been down Cheddar, Goatchurch and Zoo,
So were off to Twenty-Two,
and if we get stuck, we don’t give a F***,
'cause we're taught just what to do.

Commercially, …..its the real thing,
Commercially, …..its the real thing.

We learnt to "Ab-up", and "Prussik" down,
by a caver of 'Great Renown' ,
The main clubs shunned him, even called him a clown,
-but we learnt, Commercially.

Commercially, …..its the real thing,
Commercially, …..its the real thing.

We don’t need the Wessex, Shepton or B.B.C,
'cause we learnt Commercially,
To hell with conservation, to the main clubs' consternation
We do it, Commercially.

Commercially, …..its the real thing,
Commercially, …..its the real thing.

I've done FIVE trips now, and BOUGHT the 'Know-How’,
and am really experienced,
So I'll teach others, sisters and brothers,
-to do it, Commercially.

Commercially, …..its the real thing,
Commercially, …..its the real thing.

I'd like to have learnt, from Cavers to cave,
-if only they'd taught me,
Cause now I'm dead, N' buried,
cause I learnt, Commercially

Speleology, …..its the real thing,
Speleology, …..its the real thing.