Happy Birthday, Stan
The next account comes from our
old mate Stan G. I'm afraid that this is
included in the B.B. a little late due to the manuscript being mislaid, in fact
I found in lying between sheets of: 'lettraset'. Anyway, what better time than Christmas to
celebrate Stans 30th, birthday remember toast him after the regular Belfry
blow-out
.
It was my 30th birthday; 30 years caving that is; I always
prefer to consider that as my birthday or my re-birthday and it sometimes helps
to be able to knock off the odd 15 years or so. Anyway there it was, 30 years caving and the newspapers were screaming
'Great Cave Discovery in Derbyshire, 'Caverns Measureless to Man' etc. Yes, there are a few caves in
Derbyshire. It seems that some local
maniac from the Orpheus had done a solo 'donging' job on the old
Thus it was that our intrepid band of explorers, which
included 4 B.E.C. layabouts, arrived at the cave to find a hastily constructed
notice which said 'Access to THE CAVE 12½p'. We duly paid up but I felt that the farmer would have been happier if we
had paid him in genuine good old half crowns.
After a bit of mucking about, we all slid into the
cave. The entrance is a 3 - 4ft high
passage descending at an angle of 45 degrees for 40ft and ending on a rubbish
tip of countless generations of campers and walkers. Here, local maniac had done his first
'donging' job and the next 10ft looked like an earthworms hideout. Accustomed as I am to the somewhat larger
orifices of
Then blessed relief, a large chamber some 25ft high and 30ft
long. This was more like caverns measureless
to Man that I had read about. We were
on the top of a gi-normous boulder choke and the way on was a somewhat
concealed gap between two large boulders. An easy descent of forty feet brought us to a mouse hole and I recall
that as I descended, in the crucifix position, I thought There will be trouble
here and there was! Next another tight
crawl led to a ten foot climb, with the inevitable piece of knotted rope, and a
chamber some 18ft high with hanging boulders that looked as if they would tumble
if Lennie produced one of his farts. We
were now at the head of a 25ft pitch; an easy free hanging climb brought us to
the incredible main chamber, 160ft long x 60ft high and 60ft wide and decorated
in parts. A truly remarkable discovery
for Derbyshire.
After taking photos and having a fag we returned to the
surface with some difficulty. The cave
must have some magica1 qualities because everything became topsy-turvy. What had been easy on the descent became
bloody difficult on the ascent and vice-versa. At the mouse hole I envisaged us entombed for life as Lennie got stuck
fast, completely blocking the passage and the airway as well. With much thrutching and cursing, Lennie
eventually extracted himself minus helmet, lamp, sweater and pants. Then it was my turn and I fared no better,
stuck fast about 1ft off the ground, legs flailing wildly and no prospects of
progressing. You've heard the song which
says 'There's a smashing belay only 10ft away' well this one was only 10 inches
away but it might as well have been 10ft.
Fortunately some kind soul shoved an ammo box under my feet
and with the extra leverage I was able to disencumber myself. Eventually we emerged on surface a pretty
sorry looking lot and with Lennie giving a fair impersonation of the incredible
HULK.
The farmer, counting his toy town half crowns, eyed us with
disdain as we went to the cars, the three who turned back, laughed at us, and
not one miserable bugger wished me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Stan Gee.
P.S. Rating for
the cave.
Tall and slim - moderate
Short and slim - swinish
Short and fat - Bastardish
Tall and fat - Impossible
Ed. Note - since Stan's visit a second large
chamber has been found - when are you going back to have a look Stan?
Another article by Stan is in the pipeline -